If any of you know my mother personally, you are aware even within the first five seconds of meeting her that she is just about the most happy, friendly, understanding, and down-to-earth person on the entire planet. I mean, she seriously goes to New York City and talks with people on the subway, and then, by the end of the trip there are people waving at her and saying, "Hi, Jane!" In New York City!! Ok. I rest my case.
But seriously, I have always marveled at how my mom can literally strike up a conversation with ANYONE. I am actually quite jealous of that trait because I am not the conversating type. Don't get me wrong, I am not shy by any means. I will answer your questions and even retort your "comebacks" - but I am not the one who is the driving force generating the conversation. I am sure there is a psychological term for that but I don't know it.
But back to my mom. She is happy. And not just put-on-a-face-because-company-is-coming-over happy. She is genuinely happy. And I truly believe that is because her happiness is not based on what people think about her, but because she finds her happiness in the Lord.
If you have not read the book "Desiring God" by John Piper -then you should. Or at least start reading it like me! Just be prepared for a lot of mental chewing. Here's what I can spit out from masticating the first two chapters (I know - I'm not far, but that is all I could read in the airport between naps and conversations with a captive audience people sitting next to me on the plane!!):
I am created by God with a purpose to worship Him by enjoying Him forever - which is the ONLY thing that will make me happy.
Ok, so that doesn't seem too complicated, right? "How is he going to fill an entire book expounding on this one sentence?" I was thinking to myself. But this book is mainly a response to the objections we make to our purpose in life. Whether consciously or subconsciously - as humans, we feel guilty or selfish for chasing after our own happiness. Isn't that, in fact, the definition for selfishness? "A person... concerned chiefly with ones own personal profit or pleasure." (Google definition) Why would God create us for the purpose of pleasing Him by pleasing ourselves? Doesn't He hate selfishness?
Piper defends the fact that God wants us to be happy and seek our own happiness which, in turn makes Him happy. In fact, he says: "Our mistake lies not in the intensity of our desire for happiness, but in the weakness of it."
C.S. Lewis gives an amazing analogy for how we so often sell ourselves short in terms of happiness:
"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." (Piper includes this quote from a sermon titled "The Weight of Glory" by Lewis)
The desire for happiness is not a bad thing - God created me with that need for a reason - it is essential to the well-being of my soul. True happiness can only be found in Christ. Not just going through the motions hoping that I will get some kind of brownie points for checking off my list of religious duties or substituting fleeting pleasures and comfort for lasting fulfillment. I can't look to people to make me happy, because they will let me down. I can't look to money, because there is never enough of it. I can't look to myself, because I will fail. Why do I so often settle for the "mud pies" of life to give me pleasure instead of looking to Christ?
It is amazing that even our desire for intimacy and power show that we have a need for God. He is the only one that can truly fulfill our need for recognition and love, and ultimately our lust for power shows that we have been created with a desire for the most powerful thing in the universe: THE ONE WHO CREATED IT. We can waste our life chasing after other things but HE is the only one who can truly satisfy!
Piper, again quotes the sermon "The Weight of Glory" by C.S. Lewis that clarifies this desire perfectly:
"There once was a man in true happiness of which now remain to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present. But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by and infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself."
Infinite and immutable. The God of the universe who exists infinitely and immutably wants me. And he not only wants me but He wants me to be happy! And He wants you to be happy! He wants us to be happy!
When we are no longer looking for happiness in outside sources - that is when we can find true happiness in Christ who reigns in our hearts and minds internally. But He can only reign if he is the only one on the throne of our hearts, not one of many leaders of the Parliament of Pleasure - He must be King.
In all reality - He is King already. Sometimes we do not recognize His Kingship and authority. But one day, EVERY knee will bow and EVERY tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is LORD. (Philpians 2:10-11) I want to declare that truth on this side of eternity - not just with my mouth - but with my heart. I want my actions to reflect the undeniable reality of His reign by fully enjoying Him!
But God has not only shown me the joy that can only be found in him, but also the gravity of our situation. This world is going down fast and I don't want to be sitting in my house watching TV when he comes back. I want everyone that I know to understand that Jesus is coming back soon and he is coming to judge the world.
Actually getting out of my house and getting to know my neighbors is something that I never wanted to do. I always told myself that I was already involved in sharing the gospel in other ways, so I didn't need to get to know my neighbors. Besides, my neighbors didn't really want to get to know me either so why bother them, right? But, God has showed me otherwise. I am so glad that I actually did the awkward thing and just started knocking on doors to get to know my neighbors (I guess that's better than just waiting outside until they come out of their houses, right? I'm a homeschooler so I don't understand social rules per se, but I don't want to be a stalker and get arrested. Jail bad. At least I know that!) I do not know exactly what will come from these relationships but I know that the value of happiness increases exponentially when it is shared with others!
Piper, J. (1986). Desiring God: Meditations of a
Christian Hedonist. Portland, Oregon: Multnomah Press.
Thank you, Momma, for raising us to be happy and teaching us what true happiness is all about!
What are your thoughts on happiness? What did your parents teach you about being happy? Let me know in the comments below!