Mom Mondays - You Don't Have to "Treat Yourself"

American culture is all about overindulgence. It is, in fact, encouraged through advertisements - especially for women. Just take any chocolate commercial, for example: It is loaded with overtures of "you deserve it" "go ahead, spoil yourself" and "indulge yourself." Despite not-so-subversively trying to equate chocolate with sex, these seem relatively innocuous. However, they are planting an idea in your mind that says "if I do not indulge myself then I obviously do not have any self worth" when actually quite the opposite is true. Proverbs 25:28 says, "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." So having no self-control will actually leave you vulnerable - you are literally at the mercy of your emotions, which are not the most stable or reasonable boss. Ignoring certain wants actually shows that you are self-assured because you don't have to rely on outside influences in order to be ok. My mom is the perfect example of a strong woman who has enough self worth to say "no" to things that she recognizes as a want - not a need. These are five things that I have learned from her in that respect:

1. Don't buy your own clothes! (Unless you don't have any - in which case PLEASE don't walk around naked)

I don't even know the last time my mom actually bought clothes for herself. When we were little she was pretty famous for spending her birthday gift cards on either groceries or clothes for the kids. So my Dad's mom started the tradition of taking my Mom out on her birthday and FORCING HER TO PICK OUT CLOTHES. 

I think I have inherited the anti-shopping gene from my Mom and I have not bought clothes since I got married in October 2013. Despite this, I still am very trendy (and professional for work) and I have had to clean out my clothes closet at least four times now from having too many clothes!

How is this possible? I wait until someone is giving away free clothes and then I pick out name-brand and high-quality items for free! Now, I work at a Christian Preschool where everyone really looks out for each other - so I am very blessed in that regard! We basically clean our closets out and let our coworkers go through our unwanted clothes before putting it in the Thrift Smart bin in the parking lot.

But you can organize your own clothing swap among your friends! Hey, who doesn't need to clean our their closet?

2. Don't buy Starbucks! (unless you have a gift card)

Now please note I said GIFT CARD not CREDIT CARD. Even though you get points for a free one or blah blah blah it is still just a way to get you to spend money that you don't need to spend in the first place.

Now I am doubly guilty of being a Starbucks-a-holic!! Believe me when I tell you I KNOW how addicting it is! When I was in college I would get it AT LEAST twice a week and EVERY DAY during exam week. I must have gotten that from my Mom because she LOVES Starbucks. However, she does not even "treat herself" unless she has a gift card. And even then she gets a KID-SIZED hot chocolate with a shot of raspberry! She is so adorable : )

Now, I avoid Starbucks for different reasons, but mainly because I don't drink caffeine anymore. Not only was I tired of my body getting angry at me for not drinking coffee at the EXACT moment that I did the previous day and being punished inevitably with severe migraines, but I was sick of having to rely on something in order to be ok. That is addiction at its finest, and the only thing I want to be addicted to is Jesus!!

But seriously, STOP drinking coffee and see how much money you save per month! My husband and I have an espresso machine and milk frother at home that someone gave us as a wedding gift and it has been so amazing! Hey, my husband still needs coffee because he has to keep up with me!

3. When you do eat dessert - try VERY small portions!

There is really no nutritious value in dessert other than a small dose of sanity if you are addicted to sugar. Which most Americans are. But my mom is the greatest when it comes to just eating a very small amount of dessert so she still gets the satisfaction of having some - just not going overboard. I am not so great at that. But I am trying!!

I could keep going on inevitably like this but I am just going to stop there. You will be suprised how many people will treat you when you don't treat yourself! I also have a really awesome husband who spoils me with special treats all the time so I don't even have an opportunity to treat myself! But I think that the mindset of differentiating between WANTS and NEEDS is essential to a frugal lifestyle : ) Thank you Momma for being a godly example of self-control to me!